May 11, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
They say becoming a mother is the most amazing thing. Motherhood makes a woman complete. Children are god’s gift to mankind. What they never say is that being the mother is the most challenging, stressful, hectic, erratic, insane, time consuming, painstaking, nerve wrecking, demanding, patience requiring job. You need to have nerves of steel to pass through this.
Often I hear celebrity mothers say wonderful thing about becoming a mother. They never speak about the stress factor. Maybe they never realise it, as they can afford a contingent of nannies, caretakers, governesses to look after the ugly chores of child rising so that they can only enjoy the bliss of motherhood which mothers like us are too exhausted to even notice. Being a mother is stressful. Period. Being an almost single mother is double stressful and being a totally single mother is..oh my god I can’t even think of that.
Taking care of a child 24x7 is leaves you totally stressed out. After my child was born I haven’t slept properly, haven’t ate properly, didn’t bathed properly, and even didn’t relieve myself properly. I haven’t read a book, watched a movie, played scrabble, gone out for dinner ever since my child was born. My wish list to Santa asks only some time for myself.
I envy working mothers. They can atleast spend some time away from their kids. I know they have their own guilty pangs, but they should start counting their blessings. They can atleast afford the luxury of spending quality time with themselves. No, I apologise, I sincerely admire the working moms. I consider them super woman, but still I feel that they can read a book on their way to office. Gossip over lunch with female colleagues, when work pressure is less they can surf the internet which miserable beings like us cannot.
I remember the words of one of my friend’s mother, when I was almost eight months pregnant, I told her that I wish that the child was born and being pregnant for so long was really trying my patience. What she told me is one of the wisest words ever spoken. She said “after it is born, you would wish that it gets back inside you. Epiphany of all times.
After becoming a mother, I feel like a dull student, who in spite of all the hard work is unable to score good grades. Accused and scolded by everyone from parents to teachers to neighbours, relatives with little or no effect. I was unable to understand mathematics; I used to try hard but never could really manage it. I can feel the same sentiment now, I am unable to understand the howling and crying and tantrums of children. I try hard but still can’t understand the complexity of a one year old. My score card in baby care also scores miserably bad irrespective of my hard work.
The only difference between mathematics and a child is that maths never smiled back at me. Maths never hugged me. Maths never kissed me. Maths never played with me and above all maths was not born out of me. When I see my child sleeping (the only time when I feel a tsunami of love for him) my heart goes out to it and I feel like giving it everything that I possibly can. When I see my child laughing and giggling I forget my pain. Maybe that is the bliss of motherhood.